Feeling Naked

Since i’m able to talk about anything, I chose to talk about life, and us as people individually…

We all have secrets and demons that we have to live with everyday, it may be all in the past, or just recently but regardless, we all have something that we’re not able to talk about. What does it take to open up and get past the things that continue to haunt us?

We’ve all heard that talking to someone can help, that we have friends and family that can be spilled too in order to help. People to talk to:

1. Psychologists

2. Family

3. Close friends

4. Boyfriends/girlfriends

What is 100% trust?

First off, this is just my opinion about everything in general, i’m in no way trying to advise anyone on their problems. Psychologists are paid hourly to talk to people and help them with their problems, but do they really care? I understand that there are ones out there that will go the extra mile for their patients but in general, do they think about your problems once you’ve left the office or even the room..? I guess i just have a hard time believing in someone who is “paid” to gain your trust and let them into our deepest thoughts and secrets. 

For me, opening up and giving 100% trust means that without thinking about it, you can rely on someone for anything, anything at all. I guess it may just be me, but finding someone that is able to gain that much trust in anyone, is extremely hard to find if not impossible. For me, there’s always that possibility that once you open up, the person that you’ve been talking to is going to be gone; Moved onto someone else, or just won’t be there anymore because they’re too busy, or “forgot about you”. This is why I say it’s too hard to give 100% trust, because it means that you’re giving yourself to someone completely, making it seem like you as a person are naked, and are any of us stable that way? We all need that security that once something happens, you have a little bit of dignity and a part of yourself that you haven’t given up to hold onto. Almost like a stuffed animal, we all need or have something that we keep for only ourselves.

“It won’t be like this for long”- Darius Rucker

This is the line that most people live by. Going to work or school, or both every day and hoping that everything is going to get better, maybe finding that one person that will help change their life around for the better, giving them a new perspective on life, and will make everything clear. A lot of people find that special someone, but most don’t. Is it due to low self-esteem, anxiety, or the fact of giving up after so many failed attempts that this happens? Everyone deserves to be happy with their path on life, and finding someone to help walk that line makes the wait worth it. What is one way that you can think of to help people open up, or make the attempt to find someone in the world we live in?Image 


Categories of Teachers



Strict teachers (by the book) These kind of teachers are the people who stay on task, and “by the book” lectures with exmples that don’t necessarily teach kids the right way, but are shown in the book. By the book teachers aren’t always the best because not all students learn this way. Some need to be shown examples a couple times, or have a teacher go over a problem with them specifically so that they understand. Unfortunately, these kind of teachers are far too plentiful and don’t fully help educate students to the limit of their knowledge.

Lazy teachers (give out papers and sit there). Do you all remember when we had those teachers in social studies or a sub for the day that wouldn’t teach, just pass out homework or a lesson plan and sit down, doing nothing? We all loved those people right? Well in the long run, these kinds of teachers messed up our education because we never learned anything. Those class periods spent talking to friends, drawing, or catching up on overdue homework (we’ve all done this) was a waste of our time.

Sarcastic teachers (Enjoy putting students who don’t fully understand the material in front of the class to embarrass them) We’ve all been in one of these classes. One kid messes up a problem and the teacher goes off on a rant about how he/she is wrong and bringing up old grades because of it, you know, going above and beyond the call of the wild. Yeah, we’ve all had atleast one of these teachers that no one wanted to piss off because we were scared of being made fun of in front of the class….right?

Dedicated teachers (teachers who help out students who don’t fully understanding the material.) Now we’ve all had atleast one instructor like this. One who would actually help if we had a question, or didn’t fully understand an example on the chalkboard. We all loved these teachers, and these are the people who actually helped out our education and who took the time to help us out.

Self-learning teachers (put in movies and expect kids to learn out of book.) Oh yeah, I went there. We all have had these instructors, who give speeches during class, hand out homework then expect us to read the book and understand it all. No? students, atleast I do, need to see and go through examples in class and ask questions to understand what is being taught. I can’t read the book then go and doing my homework straight away. I won’t understand it fully, and will have issues finishing up the paper, or problems that are assigned. I know that I’m not the only one like this, and I don’t expect to see that everyone else is, but no-one likes having to do everything by themselves…right?teacher-bashing-rotherham

A monk and a cupcake (a wonderfully odd story of friendship) pt.1

Let me tell you about my friend Jinpa and the story he told me many years ago.

many light years ago in a galaxy far, far away, there lived a…wait that’s not how it started, haha silly me.

This story starts out in the Shaolin Temple in  Zhengzhou, Henan, China. Jinpa (meaning generosity) was maintaining his daily ritual by starting it in the monastery, meditating before breakfast. Now shaolin monk’s start out their day at 5 a.m when at first it is mandatory to meditate and think about the day ahead. So, like any other day he did so, for 2 hours, alongside everyone else who wished to be a monk, rather than a fighter. This is when he found out that he really wasn’t sure of what he wanted to do, so he took a walk.

Now readers, I understand that this is a bland story at first, yada yada this monk meditates and then boom, he’s unhappy, but just wait before you end up switching out of this link/story. thanks and hope you enjoy.

Being that this walk started at the shaolin temple, he was far up in the mountains. So slowly decending down with no known target destination, crossing his fingers and thinking were the only things keeping Jinpa together at this point. Like a straight jacket, mind was struggling to find out who he really was..”did he want to become a monk, a fighter? did he want to face disgracing his family and leave the temple altogether to live a life of normalcy in the city?” all thoughts that were running through this young monk’s head were all becoming a jumbled mess, making him go crazy with anger towards himself. “what could be wrong with me, why am I thinking like this?”

Normally thinking like this can bring anyone to their knees, bringing anxiety and depression into their lives. Not all of us can, but a strong person can control these thoughts and continue their lives whilst finding out who they and creating themselves are as a person.

Around five hours later, and three and a half miles further down the mountain, Jinpa was met by some children playing in the nearby village. They laughed while kicking around what looked to be a soccer ball, but was too cut up and brown to be fully recognized. As he came to the entrance of the village, the children took him in and asked him to play, he had told them that he didn’t know how, that he had come down from the temple. They looked confused, as if thinking “who doesn’t know how to play soccer?!” so they showed him, taking his leg and pushing it to the ball in front of him. Jinpa laughed, realizing that this was just the start of his mental journey towards normalcy.

The next day, after having been taken in, given dinner and a place to rest, he thanked his host and resumed his walk. Jinpa’s first thought was that he actually enjoyed the day before, being alone to think and then playing soccer with the children. He went through his bag to find some water and found a cupcake that his host had made for him. It looked like a small monster with two dots for eyes on the left side and a small blue flower in the middle resembling a nose. He began talking to himself..”why would they give me a strange cupcake like this, and what does it mean?”

Well, later that day while Jinpa was walking, he started hearing sounds from his backpack so he reached in. What he pulled out was no ordinary cupcake, but one with moving eyes, arms, and legs. Jinpa was surprised and a little scared at first, threw the cupcake up the trail and started running. But he started hearing the cupcake talk behind him, “wait! i’m here to help you!” He thought this weird, but turned back anyway…





Grandfathers story

So its the third day of our trip back to our beach house in the islands. Your grandmother and I at the time have owned this property for close to ten years. It is a beautiful three thousand square foot home, four bedrooms, three bath, overlooking the ocean. Aside from having most of the island for ourselves, and the occasional storms, we’ve gotten used to living here. No People walking around, car horns honking, screaming kids, enormous buildings making people feel like ants. We love it out here, plenty of sad and open air to just breath and have no worries.

That’s the best part of it, no worries, waking up in the morning next to her and looking out at the water crashing against the shoreline. Every time i get out of bed, I have a thought…”this is my actual life, my life in paradise.” Although, now that I come to think about it kids, something mysterious was happening during that few first days. I wasn’t sure what it was, but being in that house didn’t feel the same as it usually did.

At night we would hear some rustling in the trees behind the house, about 50 or so feet out. I’d go behind the house to see where or what the noise was coming from, holding a lantern and machete to chop my way through the dense green, but find nothing but a few coconuts on the ground. I figured it was a monkey or something of that sort just trying to get some food, but never bothered myself to look into it further.

We went into town, your grandmother and I of course,  the next day, which included taking a boat to the mainland and driving from there, about two to three miles until we made our way to the general store to pick up groceries. I was shocked to see my old friend Philip there by the produce section and asked him “why he was there?” He told me that he had rented a cottage with his family and was staying there for the next week.

So after getting our groceries, we headed back to our cottage to relax and make dinner. We heard another rustle in the woods behind the house. So I ran to the back, machete in hand, and come to find a little boy around your age. aproximately  12-14, he was dirty, with only a pair of ripped jeans and a makeshift spear. I asked him where he lived, and he pointed back into the forest. I thought this a little weird, so i went into the house, and fixed a plate for him, but by the time I got back…He was gone again. So I waited a few days, put out a table in the back and a dinner plate each night but to my surprise, it was never taken, nor did I ever see the young man again.

Wild Wild West

Could or would I want to live in the “wild wild west” days?

I could definately live back then. In my eyes, this time was a lot easier, (not saying that it was boring) because it definately wasn’t. Life back then was based off of Living, hard work and family. Men would go out and hunt during the day, or work on the farm or in one of the open businesses in the center of town.

One thing that I love about life back then is that there were no computers, cell phones, cars or facebook/twitter. You didn’t have to text your friend that you were outside their house when going over to hang out. you either walked or rode a horse around town to see people and get items on the list checked off. I would like to say that people were a lot nicer back then (and i’m speaking of people in general).

I like the idea of a small town where everybody knows one another by first names, its almost like living up-north in Wisconsin. Towns of 1000 people or less, walking down the street saying hi to your neighbors that live 2-3 miles away. Where did this structure of life go, I go shopping now, say hi to some random person and get a smirk back that basically says “I don’t know you! go away!”, people now a days are rude, insensitive and self indulged.

Were too busy trying to keep ourselves away from work, or other people…due to online dating sites, social media and pages being sent right to ones computer, we don’t even have to leave the house to get groceries, It only takes a click of the mouse and food can be delivered. This is why america is overweight, because we have to many luxeries. Video games, cell phones with texting and internet so you don’t have to go to the mall or movies to see friends or the newest trending film.

Now don’t get me wrong, i’m not the skinniest person in the bunch, but i’m also not the biggest. I workout occasionally, watch what I eat and keep myself active during the day. I don’t look down upon people who eat fast food, because sometimes that’s all we have time for; although I can’t say that I accept the fact that we have a bar or restaurant on almost every corner of the city, but I guess that’s where life is taking us, either we are stuffing our faces on the move, or sitting in a bar drinking away our pain. Where did life’s enjoyment go?

“Life has gone and gotten itself in a big ‘ol hurry-Brooks (Shawshank redemption)



            Although life in general is something to be thankful for, that topic may be a little too much to talk about for this assignment. I’ll start out by Introducing myself since the “about” tab on my page isn’t very descriptive. My name is Kyle Kavalauskas (Slovak background) and this is currently my third semester in college. I am 19 years old and would like to say that I’m changing my life around for the better, but knowing that I can say this, actually putting it to the test and kicking myself in the butt to keep moving forward is the only challenge at this point.

            One way I think is a good way to keep yourself in line and maybe sane at the same time is to keep things in mind that are special to you and what your thankful for. Now I’m no psychologist nor counselor, although I do enjoy learning about why people think and act the way they do, in my mind keeping yourself on track the way your personal gains are focused on is based on wanting to keep those things your thankful for, in your life. I don’t plan on going into all the things that people can be thankful for, but I do want to explain a couple things that I am, starting now.

            First is my family. These people are crazy, neurotic, and frankly the reason why I am the way I am. Growing up with them would scare anyone else, but not me. I’ve seen every side of them, and in doing-so, I grew up very fast. I am very close with my family, This is why when I went to North Carolina, it was so hard to stay down there. I didn’t know anyone when starting school and it wasn’t the best place to be in the first place, but being there gave me a sense of where I belong.

            The next thing that I am grateful for is my job history and current standing. I work as Chef at Qdoba Mexican Grill and love it there. It is a fast paced workplace where I get along with close to everyone that works there, now no one is going to like everyone that they work with, but I am very close to that. My work history involves almost everything except a factory. From healthcare, to retail, to even working on a farm, I have been very blessed with the opportunities that life has given me.

              Lastly, I would like to thank my parents for the, respect for my elders, manners and morals given to me throughout my childhood. Because of these things, I have a lot more respect for most other people than a lot of my friends. I have also gotten a lot of my opportunities due to these “perks” given to me, including jobs.